I love oxymorons and the phrase "Full of Emptiness" really seems to sum up my heart's feelings at times. It isn't like I can fit ANYTHING else in my heart, so one would assume that my heart is full - but yet it simultaneously feels completely empty. How is it possible to feel on so many contradictory levels?
I continue to try to focus on the things I know and to try to remember that value and strength are inherent because of who I am as a child of Almighty God, not who others perceive me to be.
The days I remember to be mindful of the creator of all things and to realize that He is holding everything in His hands are filled with more peace than emptiness. When I get distracted by my circumstances and listen to the voices that are trying to pull me into despair and darkness the feelings of complete emptiness threaten to overwhelm me.
I come completely undone every year with the 'holidays' in full season as I anticipate not being able to meet my own expectations of a 'real' Christmas. I am praying that I will be able to stop and listen and hear the Angels singing the only "REAL" reason to celebrate: Luke 2:14 “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”
Bluedaisydesign's Blog is one Blue Daisy's attempt to Blogscrap God's design and plan through real life, trying times, momhood, work, and more...preserving the reality of life through photos, scrapbooks and journaling both virtual and tangible.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Fear Factor
I've been thinking a lot about the "FEAR Factor" lately. Fear is both a noun and a verb, defined accourding to merriam-webster.com as follows:
Noun:
1a : an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger b (1) : an instance of this emotion (2) : a state marked by this emotion
2: anxious concern : solicitude
3: profound reverence and awe especially toward God
4: reason for alarm : danger
And
Verb:
transitive verb
1archaic : frighten
2archaic : to feel fear in (oneself)
3: to have a reverential awe of
4: to be afraid of : expect with alarm
intransitive verb
: to be afraid or apprehensive
Fear can be 'rational' or 'irrational' and my reaction to "Fear" in both the noun and verb form can be similarly categorized.
Fear can do the following:
1. Motivate me to overcome the fear
2. Paralyze me in response to the fear
3. Control and dominate nearly every thought with fear
4. Initiate a retreat in reaction to the fear
I've recently taken a baby step in 'overcoming' a fear of Algebra by taking a placement test. In the grand scheme of things it is a ridiculous fear, but I literally used a fear of failing to put on hold something that I could have accomplished years ago. I'll categorize that as an 'irrational' reaction to FEAR.
But there are other fears - anxious concerns and apprehensions - that I still need to contend with that loom larger than scrambled letters and numbers on a page.
I've determined that my reaction to these fears should be to first analyze the "things" being feared.
1. Is it a situation in which I have any control? Are there steps I can take to alter the perceived outcome?
If yes, use the fear (anxiety, concern) to put together an action plan and take one step at a time toward change.
2. Is it an event that is impending but one which I really have no way to change? If yes, use fear as a reminder that God holds our future in His hand and He already knows the outcome. Change from being controlled by fear to a position of power and peace through prayer and trust in the hand of God to lead and guide when the future is unclear.
The "FEAR Factor" is definitely real. We all face daunting giants in our lives -some of us on a daily basis. May we be like David and use one stone and a reliance and profound reverence and awe toward God to face our fears and overcome them.
Noun:
1a : an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger b (1) : an instance of this emotion (2) : a state marked by this emotion
2: anxious concern : solicitude
3: profound reverence and awe especially toward God
4: reason for alarm : danger
And
Verb:
transitive verb
1archaic : frighten
2archaic : to feel fear in (oneself)
3: to have a reverential awe of
4: to be afraid of : expect with alarm
intransitive verb
: to be afraid or apprehensive
Fear can be 'rational' or 'irrational' and my reaction to "Fear" in both the noun and verb form can be similarly categorized.
Fear can do the following:
1. Motivate me to overcome the fear
2. Paralyze me in response to the fear
3. Control and dominate nearly every thought with fear
4. Initiate a retreat in reaction to the fear
I've recently taken a baby step in 'overcoming' a fear of Algebra by taking a placement test. In the grand scheme of things it is a ridiculous fear, but I literally used a fear of failing to put on hold something that I could have accomplished years ago. I'll categorize that as an 'irrational' reaction to FEAR.
But there are other fears - anxious concerns and apprehensions - that I still need to contend with that loom larger than scrambled letters and numbers on a page.
I've determined that my reaction to these fears should be to first analyze the "things" being feared.
1. Is it a situation in which I have any control? Are there steps I can take to alter the perceived outcome?
If yes, use the fear (anxiety, concern) to put together an action plan and take one step at a time toward change.
2. Is it an event that is impending but one which I really have no way to change? If yes, use fear as a reminder that God holds our future in His hand and He already knows the outcome. Change from being controlled by fear to a position of power and peace through prayer and trust in the hand of God to lead and guide when the future is unclear.
The "FEAR Factor" is definitely real. We all face daunting giants in our lives -some of us on a daily basis. May we be like David and use one stone and a reliance and profound reverence and awe toward God to face our fears and overcome them.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Where have you been?
I generally like to write, but I'm terrible at forming habits (unless you call procrastination a habit). So I do not write on a consistent basis. I know I have a blog, but really, what's the point if no one else reads it? Well, I guess the point is that sometimes I need to read my own reflections every once in awhile. I recently reviewed a post I wrote and thought "Did I really write that?" Sure seems applicable to my situation now. Can I just repost it I wonder? Guess my writing is not fruitless if it helps even one person...even if that one person is me.
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